LGBTQIA+ Let’s talk about asexuality
Let’s talk about asexuality : what does this term refer to ? What are the characteristics of these people? Is there a spectrum within this collective? Is it a pathology or a choice ?
Let’s talk about asexuality
Within the LGTBIQA+ collective, some minorities are still very invisible and stigmatized, despite the progress we have made in recent years.
One such group is one representing asexuality . It is one of the most invisible and stigmatized represented minorities of our time. For these reasons, today we want to talk about this sexual orientation and clarify some terms, such as its definition, differentiate it from what asexual people are NOT, and highlight some ideas that, given the lack of representation and information that exists on the collective, is erroneous or unknown. Want to know more about asexuality ?
what is asexuality
Asexuality is a sexual orientation in which there is no sexual attraction to either gender.
If you’ve never heard of this band, you might feel a bit confused and not understand what we’re talking about. Well, just as there are orientations that are defined by the orientation towards the same gender (homo), towards all (bi) or directly towards the opposite of the person (hetero), it can also happen that it there is no attraction to either gender.
Before we continue, we need to understand two very important concepts that will help us get closer to the definition of asexuality :
- Sexual attraction is the attraction to certain characteristics of a person, which draws our attention to someone. A simple example is when our crush on a celebrity appears on screen and we stare at her saying “she turns us on”. We define, with this comment, our sexual attraction.
- Sexual desire refers to the desire to have sex. The most physical, this tingling that we can feel in the lower abdomen and which runs through our extremities.
Let’s talk about asexuality
It is necessary that we dissociate these two notions, because they do not always go hand in hand. Our partner can make us feel a lot of sexual attraction, but does not cause us sexual desire all the time, every second that we are with her. In the same way, someone for whom we have no sexual attraction, at a given moment can cause us desire, as could happen, for example, in porn.
Why did we need to clarify these two concepts? Because they are the key to defining asexuality. Now that we know that attraction and desire do not refer to the same thing, we understand the key to this minority of the LGTBIQA+ collective:
People on the aces spectrum may indeed have this desire, but they are defined by the idea that they are not attracted to any gender.
On the spectrum of asexuality (ace spectrum), there may be people who:
- They have a sexual desire.
- Having sexual desire in certain circumstances. For example, when an emotional bond is created, as is the case with demisexual people.
- Have no sexual desire.
What asexuality is NOT
One thing that should be clear is that asexuality does not refer to the disorder we know in sexology as hypoactive desire disorder. In other words, this orientation is not a lack of desire, there has been no inequality in desire, nor does it present discomfort beyond the acephobia that exists in society.
When we say that asexuality is a problem, we think that conversion therapy is going to be useful for people in this group. To think of it with trans people or gay people is outrageous. How come we don’t feel the same horror with aces? Well, it’s due, again, to acephobia.
Asexuality is not related to libido. Nor is it related to the consequences of having had bad sexual experiences. It is in no way a personal choice.
Other important points about asexuality
Other points we would like to clarify directly about asexuality are :
- There are people in the asexual group who have sex. In other words, there are people on the spectrum who have desire: they masturbate, watch porn, have fantasies…
- The spectrum that we have mentioned is the as spectrum: it is the whole range of possibilities to feel the desire to a certain extent. In this spectrum are gray sexuality, demisexuality…
- If you are not asexual, you are alosexual. Allosexuality is the reverse concept of what we are talking about today.
- Asexual people can have a partner , since romance is not defined by sexual orientation. One can better understand, to decouple the idea of “partner” from orientation, if one thinks of a heterosexual person who is aromantic (does not feel romantic attraction) and who does not maintain a romantic tie with other people.
- Asexuality is NOT a disorder .
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